Poems on Love and Stigma Ctd.

Turn around now
And you’ll see
That rusty drabby
Tear stained cloth
Stranded on the seat
Stealthily slipping off
to kiss forbidden ground

turn around now
and you’ll see the wet outlined path
of my feet drying up
rising slowly
into the sweltering heat

Turn around now
And you will know
The emptiness I felt when you
You didn’t have the heart
To say the words,
“I’m yours.”

turn around now
and you will see
I had to stop looking at you

No more
No more
No more…




Its late
you lost her
she’s gone
a song unsung
a deed undone
Although you worshipped the ground
she walked on
In the whispers of your prayers.

slowly slipping into the woods
Deep, eretheal, escapist branches
Entangling fates strangling missed chances
Unchosen, uncarved, unwoven strands
Uncrossed hands
Unborn romances



The darkness called her
Promising to hide
her anger, fear, guilt, and hate
all bitterness raged and pushed her
soul down to the depths
of the river Sheol

that stream was heard in those haunted woods
as she walked on
walked on
walked on

attempts to find the place to lay her head
a lovers sea
a warm fire
something sweet to eat

another broken beauty,
like them all
but no-one was quite like her
in inequity, creative perplexity
her tenacious disability
to truly love

waiting to be held
waiting for the one to mend
another selfish action
another selfish inaction
complacently numbed detachment
discontentment
unhealed cold resentment
rewriting the science of cynicism
to unstring her mistrusted attachment
...dying in fear

her tattered, wings
birthed in the shadows
brilliant in the sun
invisible in the darkness
desiring to lift off again
to be one with the air, the clouds,
the heavens...

no more washed out faded beauty
longing to sing the unheard melody
longing to paint the visions of creation
and recreate the future
to face the darkness
to call into being
the lamb, the child and the lion
and ascend the mount of serenity
mount of tranquilitation
before the fires could consume all life

but all you could do was whisper
a prayer underneath your breath
taken in by her love and beauty
yet afraid of her capability to inflict pain
afraid again to drink her cup
thoughts intermingling like fresh clear water
in a polluted stream

but you prayed shed be yours
but your words weren’t enough
and she forced herself to run a way
moving towards those woods
walking on
walking on
walking on

unable to hear your voice
feel your presence
or touch your hand
she’s walking on
she’s walking on

taking all her strength
to not look back
or try to make out
another hazy whisper
or assume a secret declaration

taking all her strength
to quench the desire
to hear those words at last,
to taste them from your tongue

you couldn’t give her what she needed
you couldn’t make love to her soul
you couldn’t soothe her brokenness
you tried to whisper it into being
incantations to bring the courage
that was not there

choked-up whispered prayers
that could not reach her heart
she could not hear your languished love
disappearing into the woods
famished from your
passionate deafened echoes
incapable of reaching her ears

even holy chants
speak nothing to the power of your feet
if you ran and swept her up
kissing her before
she had a chance to breathe.

she’s finished wrestling with God
ready to enter the night crested woods
and she’s finished wrestling with you
she drank half the cup
wanting to save the other half for you
your hesitancy spoke refusal
to drink with her
so now she’ll drink alone.



she’s ready to face them

if only you would go with her to fight the demons
the battles that raged her soul and world
she’d have stopped singing the fearful song
she wouldn’t feel alone

but if emmanuel can show his face
and stand with her in front of the powers
she won’t linger in the forbidden song

all she needs is
to stand in Peace
with nothing more to hold
but the passion to love and think and be
the desire to kiss the child
and to clasp the life of a weakened soul
falling on her face to cry and bleed
rather than allowing herself
to pull a trigger
and make violence her accomplice
oh god
she needs
she needs
she needs you
but she still
wants you
loves you
loves you

maybe she’ll begin to whisper your prayers
the last words she heard from you

“God is with you,
God is with you,
God is with me
God is with me…”

She’ll cry deep into the night
Drowned in the inescapable woods now
No turning back
But Emmanuel will come
And can spur her to do the things
you couldn’t be with her to do

love in motion
the vision of the way
no more violent reactions
pangs of hunger’s greed
stealing poor-mans food
stealing lepers food
stigma’s sting of unclean

hearts
minds
bodies
families
communities
powers
planet

immersing seven times
she will rise in hope again
even if she faces the darkness alone
another shall one day calm the lonely cries
stormy seas, and pain in her eyes
oh God don’t forsake her.
Don’t you dare
Don’t you dare

Or it’s too late
For everything