Premature
You were early to begin with,
premature.
first cry from your tiny lungs
echoed before the tears of the dawn
into the world with mama’s fingers
clenching the earth
water breaking before you were due
fingernails digging into the dirt of pain
air of sweat were yours from the beginning
In the shadows of the moonlight
Mama’s arms held you
Warmed by her fire
Lost in the glow
Sparks hissing from the oil
Smoldering your bright eyed face
She protected you
Until she disappeared.
A few years after you learned to walk
You were kneeling down,
A few years after playing mama with other playmates
You became “mama” your self
Picking up the younger ones
Premature mother
Wrapping their chubby faces against your back
Gathering wood for fire,
water for boiling,
finding something to eat.
little brother and little sister curled beside you every night
you could hear there whimpers in sleepy haze,
“Mama Dogo, where did Baba go?”
“Mama Dogo, where did Mama go?”
Until they disappeared.
A few years later your groans
overcame you
You missed mama’s arms,
Lingering memories of her touch.
You gave yourself up one night to a man
to feed your starving ones
trying to find some kind of love
some support
just some food
a little comfort dulled the numbness
and pangs of hunger
Until he disappeared.
You gave birth to your baby girl
beloved under your wing,
into your impoverished nest
more little knocks on your door
another empty stomach crying to be fed
little moans from her sweaty forehead
sleepy eyelids pressed against your breast
Until she disappeared.
It was yours from the beginning
Weaving your heart against a landscape of pain
No more fighting,
No more resisting
Swallow it up
Any way you could
If only you could disappear.
Drifting in dreams,
Lying your thin body down
motionless on the cold unfeeling ground
too in pain to move
too alone to cry
nobody came
until mamas feet appeared by your outstretched arm
touch my face and feel the flame
My embrace is still warm
I’ll wipe away every tear
My love is still here in the shadows
Come in out of the cold and sit with me in the kitchen.
And then You disappeared.
written October 17
premature.
first cry from your tiny lungs
echoed before the tears of the dawn
into the world with mama’s fingers
clenching the earth
water breaking before you were due
fingernails digging into the dirt of pain
air of sweat were yours from the beginning
In the shadows of the moonlight
Mama’s arms held you
Warmed by her fire
Lost in the glow
Sparks hissing from the oil
Smoldering your bright eyed face
She protected you
Until she disappeared.
A few years after you learned to walk
You were kneeling down,
A few years after playing mama with other playmates
You became “mama” your self
Picking up the younger ones
Premature mother
Wrapping their chubby faces against your back
Gathering wood for fire,
water for boiling,
finding something to eat.
little brother and little sister curled beside you every night
you could hear there whimpers in sleepy haze,
“Mama Dogo, where did Baba go?”
“Mama Dogo, where did Mama go?”
Until they disappeared.
A few years later your groans
overcame you
You missed mama’s arms,
Lingering memories of her touch.
You gave yourself up one night to a man
to feed your starving ones
trying to find some kind of love
some support
just some food
a little comfort dulled the numbness
and pangs of hunger
Until he disappeared.
You gave birth to your baby girl
beloved under your wing,
into your impoverished nest
more little knocks on your door
another empty stomach crying to be fed
little moans from her sweaty forehead
sleepy eyelids pressed against your breast
Until she disappeared.
It was yours from the beginning
Weaving your heart against a landscape of pain
No more fighting,
No more resisting
Swallow it up
Any way you could
If only you could disappear.
Drifting in dreams,
Lying your thin body down
motionless on the cold unfeeling ground
too in pain to move
too alone to cry
nobody came
until mamas feet appeared by your outstretched arm
touch my face and feel the flame
My embrace is still warm
I’ll wipe away every tear
My love is still here in the shadows
Come in out of the cold and sit with me in the kitchen.
And then You disappeared.
written October 17
posted by Jo at 6:51 AM
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